


Fan Club

by CLSarah



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Episode: s03e11 Q and the Grey, F/M, Humor, POV Chakotay (Star Trek)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-13
Updated: 2019-08-13
Packaged: 2020-08-29 20:01:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20235370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CLSarah/pseuds/CLSarah
Summary: This is kind of a follow up to my last super short story which you can read here:Oh Chakotay(709 words) byCLSarahBut I don't think you need to read it to get this.  Set after the "Q and the Grey". Cheers!





	Fan Club

“Can I ask you a question Chakotay?” my head snaps up. She’s usually a go in for the kill kind of inquiring mind. To preface a question with a question is unlike her. Somehow though my demeanor never betrays me…

“Of course.” I offer warmly. And I do mean it. She can ask me anything, if she wants to know the answer that is. 

She sighs for a moment and looks out the window for a long few seconds. We are seated comfortably on her couch in the ready room, having a beverage and catching up on ships business. From the look on her face though, I don’t think this is business.  
“When you close your eyes and really listen what do you hear?” now she looks straight into my eyes. What the hell am I supposed to say to that? If anyone ever observes me, they would notice the deft way I use diversionary tactics to gather composer so that I may produce a perfect answer to any question for my dear Captain at all times. The things I think but don’t say;

I hear recycled air circulating through the ventilation system and sucking the life right out of me.

I hear, at times, a flute playing only mildly ethnic music. 

I hear my ancestors calling to me….to seal this deal so you and I can get on with it already. 

I sip my tea. “Depends on the day, Kathryn. But I think what I hear has more to do with what is going on inside of me than what is going on around me.” Okay, so I deserve an award that no one will ever know to give me. I am consistent as hell. Riker who? 

This resonates. Not because I am some poetic genius but I just know her. “I hear all the voices of the lives I have affected because of the decisions I have made. Some of them good but we both know that some of them are not. Q’s visit really got me thinking about my future. He tried to pursued me to have a child by playing to my biological clock, telling me how it’s ticking. I know that it is but this isn’t that,” she pauses. She is looking down at her hands in her lap, wringing them together ever so slightly. Then she pushes on, “I hear you a lot Chakotay. All the ways you have saved me out here from myself and all of the things you have said along the way to let me know that you are with me,” she looks up now and fixes me with that penetrating gaze of hers. I reach out and cover her hands with mine. I feel the heat of her eyes on me and I rub my thumb over her hand lightly to encourage her then…

The door chimes. I give you one guess. She shakes her head with a huff and a smile because she didn’t get to finish her thought. She calls for him to enter. 

“Captain, Commander. I am sorry to inter….” I hold up my hand.

“No” I grind out.

“I’m sorry, Commander. No to what?” Tuvok evenly asks.

“No to you. No to this happening right now. You can come back later. There is no red alert klaxon, unless it’s life or death…make an appt.” I’m shaking my head. Not today. This is the problem. Might as well send Tom in here too for good measure. 

“Chakotay!” Kathryn shoots me an incredulous look. Then focuses back to Tuvok. “The Commander and I were just finishing up. How about I comm you in a bit?” she says diplomatically. He dips his head in acknowledgement and raises an eyebrow to me. 

“That would be acceptable Captain. Thank you.” Then he is gone. 

She chuckles now and leans back on her sofa while crossing her arms. “Well, seems you have my attention Commander.”

Do I? I think. I’m about to. 

“You were telling me something important. I’m tired of the universe always getting the last word on us. Q got you thinking, he got me thinking too,” now its my turn to fix my gaze on her. “I certainly didn’t like the idea of someone else having you. That much I made clear. But I can stake no claim on you beyond looking out for your best interests as your friend and first officer. When you close your eyes Kathryn, I do want you to hear my voice. Know that I wish to change this exhausting arrangement. Time is ticking away but that’s not a reason to do some rash, it’s a reason to not waste this opportunity. I am here for you.” Then I take a deep breath and I am barely able to finish. “I want you. I have always wanted you.” There it is. The pathetic quiver in my voice makes me think I may be deserving of a nickname such as Chuckles but at least I said it. 

I can tell from her face that she is shocked at my admission but maybe not surprised. She swallows and looks around the room as if she will find the words somewhere. I feel some boldness return to me and finish the conversation for her. 

“Don’t respond to me this minute Kathryn. Think about what I said. Know that I mean it. Then, I’d like you to tell me how you feel.” I smile and she smiles weakly back to me. 

I rise from my seat and put my cup in the recycle. “I’m going to head back to the bridge.” She nods distractedly to me. 

As I head out to the Bridge, I lean in to Tuvok’s station. “We were finishing up an important conversation. I meant no offense.” Even thought there is a small part of me that feels his weird ass Vulcan sixth sense has kept me in this deadlock for far too long. 

“Understood sir”

I walk to my chair and sit down with a renewed hope. I’ll bet this could have gone a million ways. I have probably imagined every one. I wonder if anyone else has, but who would waste their time with something like that? Now it’s done and I feel a weight lifted and a new trepidation settling in.

She emerges from her ready room, no sign of being thrown for a loop. She gets an award too. She sits down and turns to me. Leaning in to convey that her words are meant for me alone. “How about dinner this evening? You saved me from the Civil War and it seems we have a lot to discuss. I’ll try to make something edible for the occasion.”

I smile a very genuine smile. “’I’d like to take a chance.” I pause for just a beat, “on your cooking.”

She quirks her mouth up and I can tell she is admonishing me in her head. “0800” she tells me.

“I’ll be there.” I turn back to the viewscreen. 

We never really have been shy about making dinner plans on the bridge. No one seems to pay much attention and the intent was always business. This felt somehow infinitely more daring. When she hands me the bridge to give Tuvok his requested meeting, Tom immediately swings around in his chair. 

“Sir, we are heading to a new watering hole on the holodeck tonight if you are interested. An old bar from Risa that I used to frequent. You are welcome to join us unless of course you have something more entertaining planned…” Tom’s insinuation annoys me and his eavesdropping abilities astound me. 

“Paris” I warn in a dark tone, just as I always do. 

“I’m not being a wise guy, Chakotay. I’m rooting for you.” He says with a smile and a shrug and turns back to his console.

I lean back in my chair. After all of my contemplating, my fan club consists of Tom Paris. God help me.


End file.
